It's Funny

Life is.
It can be a silent butcher.
It can be a generous whore.
It can be a slutty bitch.
We'll never give up on defining Life in our own words.
We all have our own definitions.
We have our own experiences, good or/and bad.
Sometimes, it makes sense.
Sometimes, it doesn't.
Sometimes, it is all make believe.
We fight.
We let it pass.
We give up.
It is full of surprises.
It is full of setbacks.
It is full of comedies.
For some, god is great.
For some, god is late.
For some, god is fake.
Some say, Everything happens for a reason.
Some say, Everything happens for good.
Some say, Everything just happens, we can't control it.
It keeps you alive.
It kills you.
It plays with you.
It's a cocktail of all the above things.
It's cruel, evil, happy, sad and so much more.
It's but, even after all these things, funny. Amusingly, the joke is on us, most of the time. Sadly, you and me will never get the joke. Nope. Nada! Life is so damn funny. It's funny.

What's amazingly commendable is that, even after everything, we just never give up on our mediocre attempts at life, death and everything else in between.

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To fly

I've been trying to fly
i am afraid, i might fall
i don't understand, i don't want to fall
afraid of heights, it's making me cry

This flight isn't new
I've been there, before
around the blue sky, up so close
it's scary now, I've got no clue

I am not even old
i convince myself i can
spread my wings, believe me i ran
fainted at the edge, fell cold

Perhaps, i don't want to fly
i just need a solitary peaceful life
excuse me, gold, engines, greatness, family and wife
don't shower me pity cause i don't want to fly

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Less winning and more about Losing

Winning feels great, always. No matter how petty the awards are, it never comes in the way of celebrating that happiness which comes with winning. Obviously, we all want to win. 

Losing is a little different. You won't certainly feel happy but feeling sad is actually an option, not a compulsion. This certainly isn't applicable to you if you are one of those hardworking people who took school grades seriously and made sure(or tried your best) that your rank in class never exceeded the number of stumps on a cricket field. This is applicable for people like me, who were just satisfied with a normal carefree childhood with grades that were enough to drag us onto the next class. In the eyes of this society, not winning is equivalent to losing. While winning is a quantity which is measured only by grades, money, properties and such visible things. Since it'd be unfair to presume that all of us share the same mentality, i will just excuse you all from this rant. So, for people like us me, losing is just another part of the race. I try to participate- sometimes i am good, sometimes i am bad, sometimes i fail and some times, well i do manage to win. I don't have much problem with any of them. Sab chalta hai. The unproven fact that remains silent and also the main reason behind this attitude is that one never gets back what one strives, sweats and prays for. Also, there are times when you'll get much more than what you deserved and/ or asked for. But, do they really cancel each other out over the course of time? I don't think so. Actually, they don't. 

I don't know the purpose of this post but since i have kissed this topic, i'll just add a little more insight to this phenomena. The People. Yes, for the people who are watching cum judging you, life is amazingly simple. Let me tell you why and i don't think many will disagree:

1. When you'll succeed, they will tell you that it was all God's grace and love that you managed it. 
2. When you'll succeed continuously, against their expectations, they will tell you that your luck line is stronger than Lakshman Rekha. They'll decorate you with adjectives such as Bright, Fast, Achiever and Intelligent. They'll also make you feel that you settled for less and that you were satisfied with the moon even though plenty of stars were up for collection.
3. When you fail, God goes on a vacation to Goa and all that you are left with is the lack of hard-work, dedication, commitment, effort and hunger. It all comes down to you. 
4. When you fail continuously, they'll say that it was expected and there is nothing you can do. You are lost and good for nothing. That, based on your track record, which in their cheap sense of life, is based on the marks you get, money you earn, size of your house, brand of your car, dowry you got and such petty things. 

Life is so simple for them, eh? Judging and weighing things, even emotions, huh!

Basically, people suck, most of them. I don't know how they weigh their emotions and passions. I guess, it all comes down to these parameters only for them. I tend to feel sorry for them but as soon as i see them happy with what they have got, it baffles me and instead i realize, at the end of the day, they are happy with their life and their thinking, then why should i bother. What the heck!

Let's face life. Let's do what we do the best, let's live. What has to be done, needs to be done. For everything else, you'll always have time. Cheers, to life, to people and to the bitch they both try to be at times!

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I'll wait for November

I'll wait for November
music can stop entertaining now

I'll wait for November
misery can dance with me now

I'll wait for November
hell can burn even brighter now

I'll wait for November
Green day fans can return the favor now

I'll wait for November
issues can multiply now

I'll wait for November
winter can make its way now

I'll wait for November
you all can hate me now

I'll wait for November
you all can judge me now

I'll wait for November
flowers can bloom proudly now

I'll wait for November
the queen can wake up now

I'll wait for November
destiny can sleep with luck now

I'll wait for November
words can go die happily now

I'll wait for November
sorry, it's too late to return back now.

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The music has stopped!

The Puzzle: Make or Break Piece

At this point in life, i can't really claim any bright ray of light or some life changing scenario in the near future. To make things simpler, i don't really want any such thing. To make things even simpler, i don't really deserve any such euphoric moments for atleast sometime. It is another story, how things that i don't deserve are either kept out of my reach by Life or else they are discarded by my principled sensibility(hopefully, for the best) and wisdom(or maybe the lack of it).

However, this puzzle of life that beckons, can very well do wonders or can make the situation even worse. That's why this make or break piece, which can divert quite a few roads, is playing with my mind and soul. It won't take much, maybe a week or two, but a lot depends on this final piece and to be honest, i don't know what i should pray for. This because, even though if that piece turns out to be the evil one, it can very well turn out to be an Angel in disguise. While, if it turns out to be the good one, the 'maker', then it can mean a course of life i was prepared for and the most easy one of the lot. Right now, almost everything will make complete sense if the puzzle is completed. The promises will be kept, judgments will be delayed, truth shall prevail, confidence will be intact and much more.
Anyways, i don't know what may turn out of this puzzle finally. It can make or break, as i just repeated for the 68th time, a lot of things. Well, I'll just wait for things to clear up. Can't claim what's right and what's wrong but whatever it may be, it is me who has to face it and only me who has to solve it. This realization kind of calms my heart and hysteria, probably this will see me through too. As i have learned from a pretty-down-to-earth guy, to quote him exactly,"I know what I am and what I am not... and I'm prepared to suffer both!". 
Not many things have been said more sincere than this line. This line is what i pray for and this line is what i wish could always guide me, through thick and thin.

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Playing in my head: "Tere bin nahi lagda dil mera" by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

The Fuel

It wasn't brand new but
dusty, rusted, tested and a survivor
still in his prime people said
long way to go on the road ahead

It won some races, some exclusive ones
they said it was good, gifted, blessed
no one saw the dampness of sweat beneath, drenched
the wheels rolled, under him and burned

A new set of tires, every new race
an ant among rats, it ran and ran again
a picture on the dashboard, the fuel
a hope in accomplishment, so cruel

The picture, fading like an old tattoo
the hope, flickering like a distant star
the fuel, running out of life
the race still on, intense and rife

Exhaust pipes, thick and cloudy, kissing the drain
black, wounded, blocked and blazing hot
some spirit for fuel it takes to quench the fire
but they wither out too, times are so dire

The engine is broken, yearns replacement
fuel spent, none in sight, one in mind
it craves for a garage, far off, in solitude
away from the race, zillion faces to elude

It ain't a quitter but it ain't no god either
without the fuel, it can't face the race ever
not always a winner but always a good finisher
but without the fuel, it can't face the race ever, never...

I am unable to end this poetry, it can go on and on i guess, such is the power of unstoppable bullshit. Huh! But, i have a race to face and hence, i must leave. Let's just hope, the fuel replenishes before the body parts give up, along with the engine and the exhaust pipes.

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Playing in my Head: 'A Bad Dream' by Keane

That very thin line between

• being smart and being a smart-ass
• being generous and being stupid
• being a success and being a sucker
• being successful and being arrogant
• thinking good and moving your ass to do it
• dislike and hate
• proving a point and being evil
• destiny and luck
• hard-work and the point above
• this | that
• Perk and Munch
• realism and people's perception of it being mega optimism/pessimism
• marks scored and people's perception of your ability
• marrying for security and marrying for marriage
• society's definition of marriage and practical definition of marriage
• love and whatever soul is left of that distorted word
• money and happiness
• Robert DeNiro and Leo DiCaprio
• DiCaprio's acting and the Academy Award jury's preferences
• present day Bollywood Actresses and Barbie Dolls
• Cameron Diaz in 'My sister's keeper' and Surprise 
• this movie 'A Separation' and all the bloody good adjectives you can think of about any goddamn movie, a master class.
• Joe Pesci's killing moves and an Indian middle class woman doing laundry
• my poetry and flop forgotten songs
• Recycle Bin and Twitter
• books and boobs, the spelling only
• Catherine Earnshaw and most Women
• Mario Puzo's description of sex between Sonny Corleone and his sister's bridesmaid and Literary Orgasm
• Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley and Hallelujah by Bon Jovi
• secular India and secluded India
• huge, posh apartments and the small dependent basti outside it
• Football and Religion
• Sachin and God
• Paul Scholes and Rahul Dravid
• Humans and Humanity
• what we see and what we judge
• being right being self-righteous
• being persistent and being super-imposing
• an Ass from the pornos and an Ass from your acquaintance
• the work of guitar in all RHCP songs
• almost all country songs
• being human and being a responsible driver
• falling in love and fallen in love
• hope and survival
• satisfaction and the idea of it
• everything you thought and everything else that happened
• what you deserved and what you accepted/got

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Playing in my head: "Challa' from Jab Tak Hai Jaan