future - well, its one of those things about which i really think a lot, really much more than i should. but i just can't help it because it never spares me, haunting my soul like nothing else. its not the future in respect to wealth, position, family or career etc. the future that i am referring to is the LIFE that i will have once i enter corporate world accompanied with family ties and responsibilities. no, i am not afraid of responsibilities, nor am i afraid of working my ass off in some stupid MNC after leaving my first job in a MRC(just in case). but what i really hate is the fact that i will have to give up all that freedom, all that fun and all that moments i am enjoying right now. college life, when you have found that perfect comfort zone, will rock you like a hurricane and make your life a joyous ride in a roller coaster, giving u thrills, shocks and head banging times which finally comes to a perfectly happy, never to forget halt in the end.
i know that we might still live the same life, still go for movies, still hit the pubs and discs, still get into a fight(though not for a stupid reason like we do in college) and much much more but accept it or not, its never gonna be the same, not even close. and i am really scared to live that life, because it will just be living, it wont be romancing with life, like what it is now. and stop racing your mind in case you think i am being pessimistic, cause if i am being anything at all, then its called being realistic. i have seen many people change once they are out of college, once they are out on their own legs in this mean world and i am sure you will find more examples around you...and for god's sake, i don't wanna change. thoughts like this really bother me, and i let them do this because i can do anything to escape this nightmare. i want to live my life my own way but the fact that i would never be able to do so makes me more depressed and disheartened.
10 years down the line, i may be anything and i really don't care what...but this life i have, i will miss it just like i miss kurt cobain, or in fact maybe more than that. there won't be anymore night-outs, no more continuous leg pulling, no more endless discussions on useless topics, no more day dreaming, no more post exam discussions, no more adda-baazi, no more downloads of all types of soft-wares and games possible, no more counter strike(how can i forget this), no more parties for the most idiotic and meaningless achievements, no more late night goof-ups, no more vellapanti, no more group viewing of our favorite movies again nd again...nd besides these and many things else that i can't single out now, no more endless sessions of doing nothing but sitting in company of all your buddies and passing time doing nothing.
i know, i still have a MINIMUM of 1.5 years or 1 year actually before i have to leave my comfort zone and step in to the real world...but i guess i am not yet ready for it. oh, i wish i could just keep on repeating these times again and again. please god, if not this, then at least give me a PENSIEVE so that i can store all my memories there and review it whenever and wherever i wish. these are the times when i am forced to think that life is such a bitch and it sucks so much. we all keep running away from our past at sometime in our life, and i am not different from each one of you out there. along with running away from my past i am also trying to hide from my future even though i know both are impossible, but u see, that's what the world calls "HUMAN TENDENCY" and i am one among them only. good night world :)
pic courtesy : blog.northstarmanifesto.com
