Sunday, November 25, 2012

Stubborn History

There are already a lot of quotes, philosophies and rants upon History. Me adding some more wisdom to that list won't really matter but then, since when did we start doing things to make them count?
History they say:
  • repeats itself, is re-written.
  • is a myth and pretty ambiguous.
  • is imaginative.
  • is like a memory.
  • is a very tough and boring subject, when in school, esp in CBSE.
  • is as good as a rumor.
  • is a useless heap of facts. (this one's my favorite)
Anyways, besides the above detailed adjectives, there are few more things that History is. The thing that has been bothering me the most since the last few months is a very prominent, obvious and undeniable fact that we all know. However, how many of us think that it matters is an altogether different issue.
History, never changes. It always remains constant and present with us.
No matter what we do and how we play the game, what has been done is there to remain and remind us forever of it's presence. Nothing can be done to change it. We might change places, documents and all other proofs of its existence but deep in our heart, we'll always know what happened. A bright history will always remain shiny and beautiful, an orphaned history is always suspecting and searching, a shameful history is always embarrassing and humiliating and a blot on your history will always remain black, dark, painful and infuriating. 
Deep down with time, the shadows of history and all things associated with it dissolve but the history always remains constant, in block letters like the name of a brand new big budget movie on a billboard. They say our history keeps on haunting us but they don't understand that even if it didn't, we would have still kept on running around history just like a sex deprived man keeps running around brothels. We may deny it in public but every time we sit alone, our history always makes sure that we have company. Such is the power of history, such is it's overpowering presence in our life.
History never changes. A blot remains a blot. Things may not be the same for everyone but what matters for us is all that matters in the end. History is purely relative, just like triviality is. Everybody's history counts, atleast for them, atleast in their eyes, soul and heart. 
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In other news, people who were pretending to sleep haven't opened their eyes yet. All other news, do they still matter? I don't think so.


Friday, October 26, 2012

It's Funny

Life is.
It can be a silent butcher.
It can be a generous whore.
It can be a slutty bitch.
We'll never give up on defining Life in our own words.
We all have our own definitions.
We have our own experiences, good or/and bad.
Sometimes, it makes sense.
Sometimes, it doesn't.
Sometimes, it is all make believe.
We fight.
We let it pass.
We give up.
It is full of surprises.
It is full of setbacks.
It is full of comedies.
For some, god is great.
For some, god is late.
For some, god is fake.
Some say, Everything happens for a reason.
Some say, Everything happens for good.
Some say, Everything just happens, we can't control it.
It keeps you alive.
It kills you.
It plays with you.
It's a cocktail of all the above things.
It's cruel, evil, happy, sad and so much more.
It's but, even after all these things, funny. Amusingly, the joke is on us, most of the time. Sadly, you and me will never get the joke. Nope. Nada! Life is so damn funny. It's funny.

What's amazingly commendable is that, even after everything, we just never give up on our mediocre attempts at life, death and everything else in between.

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Friday, October 19, 2012

To fly

I've been trying to fly
i am afraid, i might fall
i don't understand, i don't want to fall
afraid of heights, it's making me cry

This flight isn't new
I've been there, before
around the blue sky, up so close
it's scary now, I've got no clue

I am not even old
i convince myself i can
spread my wings, believe me i ran
fainted at the edge, fell cold

Perhaps, i don't want to fly
i just need a solitary peaceful life
excuse me, gold, engines, greatness, family and wife
don't shower me pity cause i don't want to fly

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Friday, October 12, 2012

Less winning and more about Losing

Winning feels great, always. No matter how petty the awards are, it never comes in the way of celebrating that happiness which comes with winning. Obviously, we all want to win. 

Losing is a little different. You won't certainly feel happy but feeling sad is actually an option, not a compulsion. This certainly isn't applicable to you if you are one of those hardworking people who took school grades seriously and made sure(or tried your best) that your rank in class never exceeded the number of stumps on a cricket field. This is applicable for people like me, who were just satisfied with a normal carefree childhood with grades that were enough to drag us onto the next class. In the eyes of this society, not winning is equivalent to losing. While winning is a quantity which is measured only by grades, money, properties and such visible things. Since it'd be unfair to presume that all of us share the same mentality, i will just excuse you all from this rant. So, for people like us me, losing is just another part of the race. I try to participate- sometimes i am good, sometimes i am bad, sometimes i fail and some times, well i do manage to win. I don't have much problem with any of them. Sab chalta hai. The unproven fact that remains silent and also the main reason behind this attitude is that one never gets back what one strives, sweats and prays for. Also, there are times when you'll get much more than what you deserved and/ or asked for. But, do they really cancel each other out over the course of time? I don't think so. Actually, they don't. 

I don't know the purpose of this post but since i have kissed this topic, i'll just add a little more insight to this phenomena. The People. Yes, for the people who are watching cum judging you, life is amazingly simple. Let me tell you why and i don't think many will disagree:
  1. When you'll succeed, they will tell you that it was all God's grace and love that you managed it. 
  2. When you'll succeed continuously, against their expectations, they will tell you that your luck line is stronger than Lakshman Rekha. They'll decorate you with adjectives such as Bright, Fast, Achiever and Intelligent. They'll also make you feel that you settled for less and that you were satisfied with the moon even though plenty of stars were up for collection.
  3. When you fail, God goes on a vacation to Goa and all that you are left with is the lack of hard-work, dedication, commitment, effort and hunger. It all comes down to you. 
  4. When you fail continuously, they'll say that it was expected and there is nothing you can do. You are lost and good for nothing. That, based on your track record, which in their cheap sense of life, is based on the marks you get, money you earn, size of your house, brand of your car, dowry you got and such petty things. 
Life is so simple for them, eh? Judging and weighing things, even emotions, huh!
Basically, people suck, most of them. I don't know how they weigh their emotions and passions. I guess, it all comes down to these parameters only for them. I tend to feel sorry for them but as soon as i see them happy with what they have got, it baffles me and instead i realize, at the end of the day, they are happy with their life and their thinking, then why should i bother. What the heck!
Let's face life. Let's do what we do the best, let's live. What has to be done, needs to be done. For everything else, you'll always have time. Cheers, to life, to people and to the bitch they both try to be at times!
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Thursday, October 11, 2012

I'll wait for November

I'll wait for November
music can stop entertaining now

I'll wait for November
misery can dance with me now

I'll wait for November
hell can burn even brighter now

I'll wait for November
Green day fans can return the favor now

I'll wait for November
issues can multiply now

I'll wait for November
winter can make its way now

I'll wait for November
you all can hate me now

I'll wait for November
you all can judge me now

I'll wait for November
flowers can bloom proudly now

I'll wait for November
the queen can wake up now

I'll wait for November
destiny can sleep with luck now

I'll wait for November
words can go die happily now

I'll wait for November
sorry, it's too late to return back now.

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The music has stopped!

Monday, October 8, 2012

The Puzzle: Make or Break Piece

At this point in life, i can't really claim any bright ray of light or some life changing scenario in the near future. To make things simpler, i don't really want any such thing. To make things even simpler, i don't really deserve any such euphoric moments for atleast sometime. It is another story, how things that i don't deserve are either kept out of my reach by Life or else they are discarded by my principled sensibility(hopefully, for the best) and wisdom(or maybe the lack of it).

However, this puzzle of life that beckons, can very well do wonders or can make the situation even worse. That's why this make or break piece, which can divert quite a few roads, is playing with my mind and soul. It won't take much, maybe a week or two, but a lot depends on this final piece and to be honest, i don't know what i should pray for. This because, even though if that piece turns out to be the evil one, it can very well turn out to be an Angel in disguise. While, if it turns out to be the good one, the 'maker', then it can mean a course of life i was prepared for and the most easy one of the lot. Right now, almost everything will make complete sense if the puzzle is completed. The promises will be kept, judgments will be delayed, truth shall prevail, confidence will be intact and much more.
Anyways, i don't know what may turn out of this puzzle finally. It can make or break, as i just repeated for the 68th time, a lot of things. Well, I'll just wait for things to clear up. Can't claim what's right and what's wrong but whatever it may be, it is me who has to face it and only me who has to solve it. This realization kind of calms my heart and hysteria, probably this will see me through too. As i have learned from a pretty-down-to-earth guy, to quote him exactly,"I know what I am and what I am not... and I'm prepared to suffer both!". 
Not many things have been said more sincere than this line. This line is what i pray for and this line is what i wish could always guide me, through thick and thin.

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Playing in my head: "Tere bin nahi lagda dil mera" by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan


Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Fuel

It wasn't brand new but
dusty, rusted, tested and a survivor
still in his prime people said
long way to go on the road ahead

It won some races, some exclusive ones
they said it was good, gifted, blessed
no one saw the dampness of sweat beneath, drenched
the wheels rolled, under him and burned

A new set of tires, every new race
an ant among rats, it ran and ran again
a picture on the dashboard, the fuel
a hope in accomplishment, so cruel

The picture, fading like an old tattoo
the hope, flickering like a distant star
the fuel, running out of life
the race still on, intense and rife

Exhaust pipes, thick and cloudy, kissing the drain
black, wounded, blocked and blazing hot
some spirit for fuel it takes to quench the fire
but they wither out too, times are so dire

The engine is broken, yearns replacement
fuel spent, none in sight, one in mind
it craves for a garage, far off, in solitude
away from the race, zillion faces to elude

It ain't a quitter but it ain't no god either
without the fuel, it can't face the race ever
not always a winner but always a good finisher
but without the fuel, it can't face the race ever, never...

I am unable to end this poetry, it can go on and on i guess, such is the power of unstoppable bullshit. Huh! But, i have a race to face and hence, i must leave. Let's just hope, the fuel replenishes before the body parts give up, along with the engine and the exhaust pipes.

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Playing in my Head: 'A Bad Dream' by Keane


That very thin line between


  • being smart and being a smart-ass
  • being generous and being stupid
  • being a success and being a sucker
  • being successful and being arrogant
  • thinking good and moving your ass to do it
  • dislike and hate
  • proving a point and being evil
  • destiny and luck
  • hard-work and the point above
  • this | that
  • Perk and Munch
  • realism and people's perception of it being mega optimism/pessimism
  • marks scored and people's perception of your ability
  • marrying for security and marrying for marriage
  • society's definition of marriage and practical definition of marriage
  • love and whatever soul is left of that distorted word
  • money and happiness
  • Robert DeNiro and Leo DiCaprio
  • DiCaprio's acting and the Academy Award jury's preferences
  • present day Bollywood Actresses and Barbie Dolls
  • Cameron Diaz in 'My sister's keeper' and Surprise 
  • this movie 'A Separation' and all the bloody good adjectives you can think of about any goddamn movie, a master class.
  • Joe Pesci's killing moves and an Indian middle class woman doing laundry
  • my poetry and flop forgotten songs
  • Recycle Bin and Twitter
  • books and boobs, the spelling only
  • Catherine Earnshaw and most Women
  • Mario Puzo's description of sex between Sonny Corleone and his sister's bridesmaid and Literary Orgasm
  • Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley and Hallelujah by Bon Jovi
  • secular India and secluded India
  • huge, posh apartments and the small dependent basti outside it
  • Football and Religion
  • Sachin and God
  • Paul Scholes and Rahul Dravid
  • Humans and Humanity
  • what we see and what we judge
  • being right being self-righteous
  • being persistent and being super-imposing
  • an Ass from the pornos and an Ass from your acquaintance
  • the work of guitar in all RHCP songs
  • almost all country songs
  • being human and being a responsible driver
  • falling in love and fallen in love
  • hope and survival
  • satisfaction and the idea of it
  • everything you thought and everything else that happened
  • what you deserved and what you accepted/got

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Playing in my head: "Challa' from Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Arranged or Love: Regrets, Happiness and the Blame Game


The biggest problem with Marriages in India is not if it’s Arranged or Love but actually it is what happens after the marriage. The ideology of the common Indian mass and the much-cared-but-useless opinions of the Society make any kind of Marriage a big problem, much bigger than the question of Love and Arranged Marriage.
Let’s go 2-3 years into the marriage (Love or Arranged). What happens if the marriage doesn’t works out well and both the sexes involved aren’t satisfied with what they have got? Suppose one of them is not a so called supporting partner. They give their best shot and try to make the marriage work but still they can’t, it turns out to be a failed marriage. Evidently, they ‘should’ look forward to a divorce and prepare for a new life, find a new soul mate and move on with life, a hopefully happy one this time. But, this doesn’t happen. On a cinema/magazines based point of view, Divorces are not frowned upon in the upper-class community but this is not the case with the middle-class and lower-class. In these communities, Divorce is still a disgrace and most of the divorcees/divorced males are perceived to be a loser and a blot on the false vanity of an even more disgraceful society.  Besides, as cruel as we humans are, no matter how much you want to but these people won’t let you move on and will keep on reminding you of your sad past, making it a worse-than-Everest-climbing task. As it is going, I can’t see the mentality of the society we live in changing in the recent future. Thus, As of now, I can only see majority of the Indians going along with their Married Life whether or not it is working. Accept it. A bitter truth.
So, on the risk of facing these humiliations either you go ahead with the divorce or else you silently survive the pains and live an even more humiliated life forever with your partner, dying a slow death with false optimism and fantasies(which is a more common phenomenon).

Now that this point has been explained, let me come to the question of Arranged Marriage and Love Marriage.

You can search for the ‘Love of your Life’ but since not everyone is so lucky to find/get their love and you are still very much left with ‘your life’ which must go on, thus settle for the next best thing, arranged marriage. Even though Arranged Marriage is a blind gamble (not-so-blind) but still, there is nothing in this world that Love and Trust can’t do. After all, you can’t live all your life alone without marrying, can you? If yes, congrats! If no, the answer was above, go for it.

Now, if you really have to decide between Love and Arranged marriage, like in a very dire situation. I’ll give you a simple Talisman. If you go for Love Marriage and it doesn’t works out well then you’ll have only yourself to blame, but you won’t have any regrets for the rest of your life. If you go for Arrange Marriage and it doesn’t works out well then you’ll have your parents and family to blame (wow, large number of options) which will make the suffering a tad easy but you’ll live a life full of regrets.
Since I don’t want to sound pessimistic and cruel, either way if your marriage works out well then all these regrets and blame game don’t come into picture and you’ll continue to live a happy and fulfilled life and that’s what I wish each one of you reading this post. Cheers!
Coming back to reality now, the choice is yours…which life do you want?
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This post is my entry for the Indiblogger Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage! contest.
For more details, check out:  http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange

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Playing in my head: 'All by myself' by Eric Carmen


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Remembering College, Embracing Reality

I never had to face a crossroad but there was a time when i did come across two very different roads and i took the one which wasn't less traveled. I had my reasons, you'll find your own but you will have to choose a certain path, one path out of the ones you encounter. So, better pray for a single path and wish that it turns out to be the best for you.

16 July, 2008...Orientation. Then it all started. 4 years of bliss, ultimate freedom and rediscovery. Man, unbelievable! College started from the next day. 5th block with a room-mate of my hometown. Things looked good. 4 years later, things look unbelievably amazing.
Needless to say, time flew like that early bird, who was eager to poop as soon as possible in order to go catch the worm. College may not be the same everywhere but i bet people enjoy this Life to the maximum wherever they are but screw you, mine was better than yours.

These 4 years were important even though it might need some more time to prove the written and for the effects to show up or the defects, maybe. The favorable part of this era was that i had the sense to retrospect each semester. Every 6 months, it was a new lesson and a new beginning of the same old chapters. Not in the 3rd year though, that one year passed with the speed and precision of an expert sniper's reflexes. Also, it was on target too as it was painful at times and was full of disappointments. It was too fucked up to give a fuck about and i was so glad when 4th year started. I never got a chance to look back on 3rd year until 4th year started and when i did, it really did scared the shit out of me. Not because it was a big disaster but because it could have gotten so much worse, there was immense scope for that. Man, it was something. soon, 4th year took on full speed and life kinda came on track.

I'll remember these 4 years for:
  • Friends, what would have life been without them.
  • The Freedom.
  • Rediscovery of an untested passion
  • Realizations,  good or/and bad. 
  • People, Society and why they suck.
  • Wrong decisions and how to correct them.
  • Forgiving, the ones who matter but not forgetting anything/anyone.
  • and finally, more Friends.
  • And yes, the Final year. Topping them all was the last night. It was when i figured out what they exactly mean by 'Emotions Overflowing'.  
Phew, A journey of a Lifetime. Easily unforgettable and the best teacher, ever, of course after my Father.
Finally, as i always say:

"People who miss their school the most are the ones who never went to college or the ones who are geeky nerds."

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Playing in my Head: Radio baj raha hai, too many songs!


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Words: A Thank You Note

We are all independently dependent on words. The case is not the same with words. They are like a free bird, coming exactly at the right time when you need some company, you just have to make sure that your hands are full of grains. Slowly, they will start picking up those pieces of grains and will happily get lost in their food, without even giving a fuck about your not-required-anymore presence. But, eventually you'll know what they did by this not-so-cruel act. They were able to bring a little smile on your face, a little satisfaction to your disturbed soul and some rest to your crazy mind. They play their part perfectly and as soon as they are done or rather you are done, they will happily go away somewhere, boundless and free. Same is the case with words, exactly the same. I can never recall an instance when i have pined for words and my Diary or this Blog has gone blank, never. They come when you need them, just make sure you have a motive strong enough to attract them. And once their purpose is served, they follow the path of a free bird leaving you behind with a rather satisfied muse that was trying to play with your heart, mind and soul.
This is just an attempt to thank them. Words deserve a lot more respect than we give. They are not under-rated but then they are not appropriately respected too. I hate it when petty words are used continuously for grand schemes and some rather strong words are wasted on an even more wasted cause. But more on that in another post. I'll just keep it plain and simple. Thank you, words...that poem i wrote describing your essence and your immense presence in this life seemed like it didn't really did justice to the cause because i kind of wandered to a different zone, towards the latter half. Hence, this post.
Thanks buddy, Don't block me, ever.
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Playing in my Head : "Use somebody" by Kings of Leon.


Saturday, June 16, 2012

Not-So-Nonsensical Sense of Trivia

Everything matters. Everything seeks reason. The reasons always vary as do the people. But yes, they do matter. This is the essence of Trivia. From this blog that you are reading to the blog that you chose not to read any further, everything matters.
Not that you have to see the importance. No, you don't have to. More so because it may not always be Important. You see, Triviality is relative. What may seem important to you may not deserve the same importance in my life. The fruit that has fallen from a tree may not be of much value for you. For you, it might just be another fruit that has been devoid of it's Mamma branch but for the fruit it might be the worst day. Or take a street urchin, for him that fruit can prove to be a happy dinner meal. Gladly for him, the time and energy he would have wasted on that fruit with his novice wayward shots at it using the stones lying around was saved. Gladly for the stone, he wasn't moved from his preferred state of stability to that roller coaster kind of ride onto some random fruit on a tree. All these were subtle facts for someone like you or me but it wasn't the same for people who were attached to these instances.

This is the relativity of triviality. For a corrupt Policeman, taking a 100rs note from a poor vendor might be pretty trivial but for that poor vendor, it might be a reason for frustration and anger which gives him sleepless nights, which may further result in that vendor killing that policeman out of misery and revenge. In another case, this frustration and anger which renders him incapable of maintaining his financial condition stable may result in that vendor committing suicide along with his family.

For a teacher who keeps on harassing a  student for some particular mischief he committed a long back may seem to be trivial for the teacher but for the student it might lead him to finally leave that school/college. Or even worse, he may end up taking out the petrol from his teacher's bike/car and setting it on fire with the same petrol. This because it is making the life hell for that student. Revenge isn't that sweet on the receiving end.

Finally, take this post. This might be a trivial post of no importance to you and as a matter of fact, it is. But for this blog, this one post after so many days might be everything that it actually needed all along. For the person who wrote this, the post might be the only way to some much pined peace of mind that he was vying for helplessly on some stupid social networking site. 

This is what i wanted to say. Nothing is trivial. Everything means something. Every offense offends, every word shouts, every broken promise hurts, every memory recreates, every fuck counts. Every thing matters. Don't say it unless you mean it and don't take it unless you need it. Moreover, don't make fun of anything. It might mean the world to someone. Trivia is nothing is trivia.

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Playing in my head: 'Bailiya' by the band Faakhir.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Words...I need you tonight

On a Journey...


He was high on Poison. They didn't kill him, they took him on a ride, a long journey. Wandering in disdain, looking for a familiar yet solitary place. Here and there, reached nowhere. Probably he was running in circles. Well, at least the places were familiar and he ended up at the same place where he started.


I pined some words tonight
never have they abandoned me
craved in sincere misery or glee
I need them again tonight.


You might not understand them
maybe you don't know them
but they know you well
they understand you well
perhaps, even more than you
perhaps, even more than me

I pined some words tonight
worthless, voiceless not soulless
ageless, ruthless not lifeless
desolating me, define you and fail

You might not hear them cry
blame your soul, even soldiers cry
society, customs, religion and gold
blinded by lust, as if sun-rays of gold
definitely, sweeter than your revenge
definitely, stronger than my desires

I pined some words tonight
rapes, murders and money they abominate
resolved to awake you they readily circulate
happily will they guide you, every night.


I wrote these words tonight
still excited, perhaps i am tired
hoping you'll wake up soon
you ain't even sleeping you know
take these words, you need my niche
I'll survive, of discomfort no one dies.

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Playing in my head : 'Society' by Eddie Vedder

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

To Kill a Genuine Expectation?


I don't mind people. I don't mind that they have opinions. Actually, different human beings have different opinions and this creates a lot of confusion. The worst part, opinion of the Majority is what actually counts and the rest us are left  abandoned and labeled as a Minority. 
Coming back to the point, i was always amused by the pretty famous quote by someone that goes something like this 

"Never expect anything from anyone, because expectation always hurts."

This never made sense to me. The first part never and the latter, a few times. But I still never fail to expect things from OTHERS
There are 2 aspects of this debate. 'Who are the OTHERS' and 'What to expect'.

Let's start with 'Others'. They are not everyone around you, not everyone you meet. They are those special people in your Life whom you Love and who claim to Love you. Be it your Friends, Family, Better-half or the Night watchman in your Apartment. If they claim to care about you, they should and must stand up to your expectations and you have the full right to expect from them, and so do they.

Now comes the question, What to expect ? Well, as long as you are not expecting insanities like Stars, Moon and Magical Herbs from the Himalayas etc. you are on the right track. If you expect them to run on your commands or do everything according to your wish, you are wrong. If you expect them to laugh with you when you are right and laugh with you even when you are wrong, you are wrong. Actually, it's not always the unfulfilled expectation that hurts, it's actually your over-the-moon expectations that hurt, you hurt yourself, you are to blame for your own misery. This is how things work and this is what makes sense. If you are living your life on the above lines, you don't have the effing right to claim that expectations hurt.

Having said that, what if even your most genuine expectations are not answered, time and again. Blimey, it's time you realized that the person whom you thought to be your closest one, wasn't actually. You made a wrong decision, you chose the wrong person, you prioritized all the wrong relationships. Perhaps, it's the time to let them go. Or if they are too close to you, so close that you can't even imagine letting them go then keep them and suffer, cause they are your weakness. No matter how many times, your expectations are met or not, you won't let them go, irrespective of whether it hurts or not.

Besides, you have the full right now to expect something good from me since you landed here. You were right to expect and it's my fault if i haven't satisfied you enough. Having said that, the fact remains that this is my place, Bitches! I get to write what i want. But without wax, i hope this made some sense in your life.

Also, this was just an attempt to write a post in this otherwise dormant blog. I have stopped writing poems because classes are over and i am unable to find any time to waste on rhyming words. so, thanks for bearing with this rather subtle post, especially since today is 14th Feb, Happy Valentine's Day Guys!

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Playing in my Head - Too many songs, leave it. Enjoy and Cheers...


Sunday, January 15, 2012

Juliet and the Angel

The best i could come up with.


She was a father's dream, a mother's pride
a sister's hope and a brother's delight
she was a special soul, angel in disguise
ready to bloom, a flower in her prime

Her papa said, "Darling, this is a cruel world"
She said, "I have grown up now, you needn't care"

She fell in the trap of a game called love
a self proclaimed Juliet, she chose to revolt
she took her own decisions, made her own destiny
fate had some other plans to make it a misery

An alleged Romeo, cigarettes and whiskey for company
some pseudo friends who basked in her fake glory
with Romeo by her side, she drowned in some wine
a flower was plucked, she lost something priceless that night

She fled with him in haste to a land miles away
tasted real life without money or a place to stay
friends became ghost, the Romeo left her blue
the day he discovered that the flower carried a seed too

She cried for days, drowned in sorrow and despair
afraid to return back home, decided to disappear
with the baby inside her, walked on to the pier
a familiar voice stopped her, the angel was here

A stray old close friend whom she chose to forget
stood there firmly and she cried in regret
memories answered as winds of change stroked her face
crying like a child, she ran into his arms, feeling more than just safe

He said i am glad i could almost make it on time
i was always yours but you were never mine
i walked away fearing i will never get you back
but i swear that i tried my best to get you on track

Now one last time, i dare you to escape this night
take my hand and i will make everything alright
wipe your tears, make you smile, even die for you
in the name of God i swear, i have always loved you

Timeline of life rolled through her perturbed mind
moment of truth embraced the moment of realization
thirsty lips suddenly found an ocean to exhaust
unrequited love returned, faith was restored.

Papa was really right all along, she sighed
"Darling, this is a cruel world." Indeed, she cried.


PS - This one took a whole lifetime to complete...phew!

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Playing in my head - "Brendan's Death Song" by RHCP