That very thin line between

• being smart and being a smart-ass
• being generous and being stupid
• being a success and being a sucker
• being successful and being arrogant
• thinking good and moving your ass to do it
• dislike and hate
• proving a point and being evil
• destiny and luck
• hard-work and the point above
• this | that
• Perk and Munch
• realism and people's perception of it being mega optimism/pessimism
• marks scored and people's perception of your ability
• marrying for security and marrying for marriage
• society's definition of marriage and practical definition of marriage
• love and whatever soul is left of that distorted word
• money and happiness
• Robert DeNiro and Leo DiCaprio
• DiCaprio's acting and the Academy Award jury's preferences
• present day Bollywood Actresses and Barbie Dolls
• Cameron Diaz in 'My sister's keeper' and Surprise 
• this movie 'A Separation' and all the bloody good adjectives you can think of about any goddamn movie, a master class.
• Joe Pesci's killing moves and an Indian middle class woman doing laundry
• my poetry and flop forgotten songs
• Recycle Bin and Twitter
• books and boobs, the spelling only
• Catherine Earnshaw and most Women
• Mario Puzo's description of sex between Sonny Corleone and his sister's bridesmaid and Literary Orgasm
• Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley and Hallelujah by Bon Jovi
• secular India and secluded India
• huge, posh apartments and the small dependent basti outside it
• Football and Religion
• Sachin and God
• Paul Scholes and Rahul Dravid
• Humans and Humanity
• what we see and what we judge
• being right being self-righteous
• being persistent and being super-imposing
• an Ass from the pornos and an Ass from your acquaintance
• the work of guitar in all RHCP songs
• almost all country songs
• being human and being a responsible driver
• falling in love and fallen in love
• hope and survival
• satisfaction and the idea of it
• everything you thought and everything else that happened
• what you deserved and what you accepted/got

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Playing in my head: "Challa' from Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Arranged or Love: Regrets, Happiness and the Blame Game

The biggest problem with Marriages in India is not if it’s Arranged or Love but actually it is what happens after the marriage. The ideology of the common Indian mass and the much-cared-but-useless opinions of the Society make any kind of Marriage a big problem, much bigger than the question of Love and Arranged Marriage.

Let’s go 2-3 years into the marriage (Love or Arranged). What happens if the marriage doesn’t works out well and both the sexes involved aren’t satisfied with what they have got? Suppose one of them is not a so called supporting partner. They give their best shot and try to make the marriage work but still they can’t, it turns out to be a failed marriage. Evidently, they ‘should’ look forward to a divorce and prepare for a new life, find a new soul mate and move on with life, a hopefully happy one this time. But, this doesn’t happen. On a cinema/magazines based point of view, Divorces are not frowned upon in the upper-class community but this is not the case with the middle-class and lower-class. In these communities, Divorce is still a disgrace and most of the divorcees/divorced males are perceived to be a loser and a blot on the false vanity of an even more disgraceful society.  Besides, as cruel as we humans are, no matter how much you want to but these people won’t let you move on and will keep on reminding you of your sad past, making it a worse-than-Everest-climbing task. As it is going, I can’t see the mentality of the society we live in changing in the recent future. Thus, As of now, I can only see majority of the Indians going along with their Married Life whether or not it is working. Accept it. A bitter truth.
So, on the risk of facing these humiliations either you go ahead with the divorce or else you silently survive the pains and live an even more humiliated life forever with your partner, dying a slow death with false optimism and fantasies(which is a more common phenomenon).

Now that this point has been explained, let me come to the question of Arranged Marriage and Love Marriage.

You can search for the ‘Love of your Life’ but since not everyone is so lucky to find/get their love and you are still very much left with ‘your life’ which must go on, thus settle for the next best thing, arranged marriage. Even though Arranged Marriage is a blind gamble (not-so-blind) but still, there is nothing in this world that Love and Trust can’t do. After all, you can’t live all your life alone without marrying, can you? If yes, congrats! If no, the answer was above, go for it.

Now, if you really have to decide between Love and Arranged marriage, like in a very dire situation. I’ll give you a simple Talisman. If you go for Love Marriage and it doesn’t works out well then you’ll have only yourself to blame, but you won’t have any regrets for the rest of your life. If you go for Arrange Marriage and it doesn’t works out well then you’ll have your parents and family to blame (wow, large number of options) which will make the suffering a tad easy but you’ll live a life full of regrets.
Since I don’t want to sound pessimistic and cruel, either way if your marriage works out well then all these regrets and blame game don’t come into picture and you’ll continue to live a happy and fulfilled life and that’s what I wish each one of you reading this post. Cheers!
Coming back to reality now, the choice is yours…which life do you want?

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This post is my entry for the Indiblogger Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage! contest.

For more details, check out:  http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange

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Playing in my head: 'All by myself' by Eric Carmen

Remembering College, Embracing Reality

I never had to face a crossroad but there was a time when i did come across two very different roads and i took the one which wasn't less traveled. I had my reasons, you'll find your own but you will have to choose a certain path, one path out of the ones you encounter. So, better pray for a single path and wish that it turns out to be the best for you.

16 July, 2008...Orientation. Then it all started. 4 years of bliss, ultimate freedom and rediscovery. Man, unbelievable! College started from the next day. 5th block with a room-mate of my hometown. Things looked good. 4 years later, things look unbelievably amazing.
Needless to say, time flew like that early bird, who was eager to poop as soon as possible in order to go catch the worm. College may not be the same everywhere but i bet people enjoy this Life to the maximum wherever they are but screw you, mine was better than yours.

These 4 years were important even though it might need some more time to prove the written and for the effects to show up or the defects, maybe. The favorable part of this era was that i had the sense to retrospect each semester. Every 6 months, it was a new lesson and a new beginning of the same old chapters. Not in the 3rd year though, that one year passed with the speed and precision of an expert sniper's reflexes. Also, it was on target too as it was painful at times and was full of disappointments. It was too fucked up to give a fuck about and i was so glad when 4th year started. I never got a chance to look back on 3rd year until 4th year started and when i did, it really did scared the shit out of me. Not because it was a big disaster but because it could have gotten so much worse, there was immense scope for that. Man, it was something. soon, 4th year took on full speed and life kinda came on track.

I'll remember these 4 years for:

• Friends, what would have life been without them.
• The Freedom.
• Rediscovery of an untested passion
• Realizations,  good or/and bad. 
• People, Society and why they suck.
• Wrong decisions and how to correct them.
• Forgiving, the ones who matter but not forgetting anything/anyone.
• and finally, more Friends.
• And yes, the Final year. Topping them all was the last night. It was when i figured out what they exactly mean by 'Emotions Overflowing'.  

Phew, A journey of a Lifetime. Easily unforgettable and the best teacher, ever, of course after my Father.
Finally, as i always say:

"People who miss their school the most are the ones who never went to college or the ones who are geeky nerds."

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Playing in my Head: Radio baj raha hai, too many songs!

Words: A Thank You Note

We are all independently dependent on words. The case is not the same with words. They are like a free bird, coming exactly at the right time when you need some company, you just have to make sure that your hands are full of grains. Slowly, they will start picking up those pieces of grains and will happily get lost in their food, without even giving a fuck about your not-required-anymore presence. But, eventually you'll know what they did by this not-so-cruel act. They were able to bring a little smile on your face, a little satisfaction to your disturbed soul and some rest to your crazy mind. They play their part perfectly and as soon as they are done or rather you are done, they will happily go away somewhere, boundless and free. Same is the case with words, exactly the same. I can never recall an instance when i have pined for words and my Diary or this Blog has gone blank, never. They come when you need them, just make sure you have a motive strong enough to attract them. And once their purpose is served, they follow the path of a free bird leaving you behind with a rather satisfied muse that was trying to play with your heart, mind and soul.
This is just an attempt to thank them. Words deserve a lot more respect than we give. They are not under-rated but then they are not appropriately respected too. I hate it when petty words are used continuously for grand schemes and some rather strong words are wasted on an even more wasted cause. But more on that in another post. I'll just keep it plain and simple. Thank you, words...that poem i wrote describing your essence and your immense presence in this life seemed like it didn't really did justice to the cause because i kind of wandered to a different zone, towards the latter half. Hence, this post.
Thanks buddy, Don't block me, ever.
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Playing in my Head : "Use somebody" by Kings of Leon.

Not-So-Nonsensical Sense of Trivia

Everything matters. Everything seeks reason. The reasons always vary as do the people. But yes, they do matter. This is the essence of Trivia. From this blog that you are reading to the blog that you chose not to read any further, everything matters.
Not that you have to see the importance. No, you don't have to. More so because it may not always be Important. You see, Triviality is relative. What may seem important to you may not deserve the same importance in my life. The fruit that has fallen from a tree may not be of much value for you. For you, it might just be another fruit that has been devoid of it's Mamma branch but for the fruit it might be the worst day. Or take a street urchin, for him that fruit can prove to be a happy dinner meal. Gladly for him, the time and energy he would have wasted on that fruit with his novice wayward shots at it using the stones lying around was saved. Gladly for the stone, he wasn't moved from his preferred state of stability to that roller coaster kind of ride onto some random fruit on a tree. All these were subtle facts for someone like you or me but it wasn't the same for people who were attached to these instances.

This is the relativity of triviality. For a corrupt Policeman, taking a 100rs note from a poor vendor might be pretty trivial but for that poor vendor, it might be a reason for frustration and anger which gives him sleepless nights, which may further result in that vendor killing that policeman out of misery and revenge. In another case, this frustration and anger which renders him incapable of maintaining his financial condition stable may result in that vendor committing suicide along with his family.

For a teacher who keeps on harassing a  student for some particular mischief he committed a long back may seem to be trivial for the teacher but for the student it might lead him to finally leave that school/college. Or even worse, he may end up taking out the petrol from his teacher's bike/car and setting it on fire with the same petrol. This because it is making the life hell for that student. Revenge isn't that sweet on the receiving end.

Finally, take this post. This might be a trivial post of no importance to you and as a matter of fact, it is. But for this blog, this one post after so many days might be everything that it actually needed all along. For the person who wrote this, the post might be the only way to some much pined peace of mind that he was vying for helplessly on some stupid social networking site. 

This is what i wanted to say. Nothing is trivial. Everything means something. Every offense offends, every word shouts, every broken promise hurts, every memory recreates, every fuck counts. Every thing matters. Don't say it unless you mean it and don't take it unless you need it. Moreover, don't make fun of anything. It might mean the world to someone. Trivia is nothing is trivia.

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Playing in my head: 'Bailiya' by the band Faakhir.

Words...I need you tonight

On a Journey...

He was high on Poison. They didn't kill him, they took him on a ride, a long journey. Wandering in disdain, looking for a familiar yet solitary place. Here and there, reached nowhere. Probably he was running in circles. Well, at least the places were familiar and he ended up at the same place where he started.

I pined some words tonight

never have they abandoned me

craved in sincere misery or glee

I need them again tonight.

You might not understand them

maybe you don't know them

but they know you well

they understand you well

perhaps, even more than you

perhaps, even more than me

I pined some words tonight

worthless, voiceless not soulless

ageless, ruthless not lifeless

desolating me, define you and fail

You might not hear them cry

blame your soul, even soldiers cry

society, customs, religion and gold

blinded by lust, as if sun-rays of gold

definitely, sweeter than your revenge

definitely, stronger than my desires

I pined some words tonight

rapes, murders and money they abominate

resolved to awake you they readily circulate

happily will they guide you, every night.

I wrote these words tonight

still excited, perhaps i am tired

hoping you'll wake up soon

you ain't even sleeping you know

take these words, you need my niche

I'll survive, of discomfort no one dies.

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Playing in my head : 'Society' by Eddie Vedder

To Kill a Genuine Expectation?

I don't mind people. I don't mind that they have opinions. Actually, different human beings have different opinions and this creates a lot of confusion. The worst part, opinion of the Majority is what actually counts and the rest us are left  abandoned and labeled as a Minority. 

Coming back to the point, i was always amused by the pretty famous quote by someone that goes something like this 

"Never expect anything from anyone, because expectation always hurts."

This never made sense to me. The first part never and the latter, a few times. But I still never fail to expect things from OTHERS. 

There are 2 aspects of this debate. 'Who are the OTHERS' and 'What to expect'.

Let's start with 'Others'. They are not everyone around you, not everyone you meet. They are those special people in your Life whom you Love and who claim to Love you. Be it your Friends, Family, Better-half or the Night watchman in your Apartment. If they claim to care about you, they should and must stand up to your expectations and you have the full right to expect from them, and so do they.

Now comes the question, What to expect ? Well, as long as you are not expecting insanities like Stars, Moon and Magical Herbs from the Himalayas etc. you are on the right track. If you expect them to run on your commands or do everything according to your wish, you are wrong. If you expect them to laugh with you when you are right and laugh with you even when you are wrong, you are wrong. Actually, it's not always the unfulfilled expectation that hurts, it's actually your over-the-moon expectations that hurt, you hurt yourself, you are to blame for your own misery. This is how things work and this is what makes sense. If you are living your life on the above lines, you don't have the effing right to claim that expectations hurt.

Having said that, what if even your most genuine expectations are not answered, time and again. Blimey, it's time you realized that the person whom you thought to be your closest one, wasn't actually. You made a wrong decision, you chose the wrong person, you prioritized all the wrong relationships. Perhaps, it's the time to let them go. Or if they are too close to you, so close that you can't even imagine letting them go then keep them and suffer, cause they are your weakness. No matter how many times, your expectations are met or not, you won't let them go, irrespective of whether it hurts or not.

Besides, you have the full right now to expect something good from me since you landed here. You were right to expect and it's my fault if i haven't satisfied you enough. Having said that, the fact remains that this is my place, Bitches! I get to write what i want. But without wax, i hope this made some sense in your life.

Also, this was just an attempt to write a post in this otherwise dormant blog. I have stopped writing poems because classes are over and i am unable to find any time to waste on rhyming words. so, thanks for bearing with this rather subtle post, especially since today is 14th Feb, Happy Valentine's Day Guys!

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Playing in my Head - Too many songs, leave it. Enjoy and Cheers...